A sermon message I gave on April 12, 2026:

Thank you for the opportunity to bring the message today. Before I delve in, I wanted to share how it came about. A few weeks ago, Linda Hawkins and Pastor Scott were talking about how they still needed someone to give a sermon and I quickly raised my hand and said I would. Once they realized I was serious, they said ok. It was then that I asked what day. Many years ago, I was talking to someone who did guest preaching. He told me that when someone would ask him to give a message, he first would do the Christian answer of “I’ll pray about it”. But what he realized was his answer needed to be yes if he knew his schedule was free. What I take from that is if you are able to share the Good News, say yes. So here we go.

We studied the Scripture we read today, Psalm 13, a couple years ago in the ladies’ Bible study as a part of a study on prayer. That week was about lamenting, which we had also studied before in Lamentations. The book of Lamentations is not a cheerful book of the Bible. It describes the anguish of the Israelites as the exile of Babylon occurred. David often describes moments of anguish as well in the Psalms. What these teach us is that we can take any of our thoughts, even the lamenting of “how long Lord” and feelings of being forgotten, to God. He is always listening and wanting to be a comfort to us. Like it says in Joshua 1:9: “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

How do I know this for sure? Because I have been there. When I read Psalm 13, it was like David got into my mind and wrote the words I couldn’t at the time. When I began my writing journey in 2019, I was faced with some things I thought I had packed away in a closet, deep and far away. But they were never hidden from God. It was just time to work on them.

I have struggled with anxiety and times of depression throughout my life and this new adventure brought them out with a new intensity. Thinking about all the times God was there, even if I didn’t see it at the time, was humbling. I struggled with my insecurity and fear of feeling not good enough. Then finding the stories in the Bible that correlated to my chapter topic, like boundaries and control, helped me feel connected to the people in the Bible. But it’s also a mirror to your own life-your shortcomings, your sins, your past mistakes, and it can be overwhelming. After I published my first book, fulfilling a dream that I have had since I was a teenager, I sank into a deeper depression and anxiety. Seems odd, right?

But, if we remember Elijah defeated all the Baal gods, which was a huge victory, but then ran for his life and cried out to God, defeated. He had a huge high in his life and then, well, crashed. I did the same thing. Years ago, I asked Pastor Scott about when he was working on a sermon about a particular topic, whether he was then tested in that area. His response was “Oh my yes.” I can agree as my first book was about peace and I felt my anxiety kick into a higher gear. Then as I started on my second book, which had a theme of love, I was challenged in those lessons: to love God better, to love others better and to love myself better. With that came challenges of how to do that. And now, with the focus on faithfulness in my third book, God is showing me how to keep the faith and keep going on this journey.

Writing drew me closer to God over time, to trust in His plan over mine. I had to make some very challenging decisions about how I spent my time as I knew God was calling me into the marketing side of publishing. I also had to face my own roadblocks. That included admitting that I was dealing with burnout in my roles at church and taking the scary steps of stepping away. I say it was scary because although I was exhausted, I had the need to feel needed. It felt like I had failed God, others and myself because we are all supposed to want to serve, right? To put others’ needs in front of your own?

I can’t say those days after I stepped down were easy and it got worse before it got better. But all I could do was take it one day at a time, sometimes it was more like an hour at a time, and to keep trying to seek God in the ways I could. Sometimes it meant just reading Scripture that someone had posted on Facebook or through listening to Christian music. Sometimes it meant to just breathe through those moments. One thing I had to realize was that I was dealing with a form of grief. Several months ago, I attended a conference where one of the topics was on grief. The presenter talked about loss which included a change of identity. We can all understand as we have all gone through changes in our identities and that can be challenging to learn how to live with what is commonly called “a new normal”.

This change in identity can be seen in the apostles as they went from the triumphant entry in Jerusalem, to the arrest and crucifixion of their Messiah, to then seeing the risen Christ. Those 40 days from Easter Sunday when they first saw Jesus resurrected until the day He was taken up to heaven had to have had so many emotions. While there was joy of seeing Jesus again, I wonder if they also thoughts of “how long” meaning how long Jesus would be with them to teach them more. Luke 24:45 says, “Then he opened their minds so they could understand the Scriptures.” While they had heard his teachings, it took experiencing the fulfillment of the Scriptures for the apostles to see it in a new light. This is true in our own lives as well. Going through a form of grief helps us see things in new ways as well. I understand David’s lament of “how long” as I was deep in my grief and it was challenging to feel the hope of someday the struggles going away. I needed God’s mercy and grace to get me through it. And even if I felt alone, when I look back, I can see where God was always with me.

During that time is when the apostles were given the Great Commission to go and make disciples to the ends of the earth. In a prayer meeting, Tammy from Crazy Faith reminded all of us that “go” is a verb. That means we don’t stay still. It also means that we don’t get stuck in the past. The apostles were just beginning to see what their “new normal” was going to look like. We can only imagine what those first years were like when they went out, explaining to others how Jesus fulfilled the Scriptures. While we can put them on pedestals, admiring their willingness and determination, we are also called to do the same. Following what you feel God is calling you to do, whatever that may be for you, doesn’t mean it will be a smooth road. It comes with risks, making hard decisions and heartache.

Another lesson we can learn is to trust and take comfort in God’s timing. Like the apostles and David, we may not comprehend the purpose of these changes of identity at the time. While David was anointed to be the next King, he didn’t immediately step into that role. David returned to tending sheep and when the timing was right, he was then anointed as king. Some of the apostles went back to fishing in Galilee after the resurrection. This can be described as a full circle moment, where you return to a place or activity, but with new knowledge and experience. The apostles were beginning their change in identity into leaders of The Way, which we know as the Christian Church. Thankfully, Philippians 1:6 says, “Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

Could I have imagined 5 years ago I would be preparing and giving the message here today? Not at all. 5 years ago, I was beginning to feel more of the burnout and I requested a break from Worship Chair right after Easter. While I can wish to say that break refreshed my soul, the truth is I struggled to let go of my grip of control and I jumped back in. It was several months later that I fully stepped down, and even though I didn’t feel ready, I knew it was God’s timing. While I still struggle at times, I am trusting God’s plan. This is a full circle moment for me: to share about my experiences while also helping Pastor Scott get a well-deserved break. Serving in ministry can be exhausting and feel never ending as the Great Commission call is until Jesus returns.

One thing I have found comfort in throughout my struggles and changes is reading the Bible, including the Psalms. While Psalm 13 felt like my cry to God, I find strength and courage in Psalm 91, which is called the prayer of protection. Pastor Scott suggested that I pray Psalm 91 when my anxious thoughts were racing or my mind was spiraling into darkness and it brought comfort. We can recognize this Psalm in the song “On Eagles’ Wings”. Those words have helped to calm my mind and refocus on God.

God knew the struggles I faced and what I will face in the future and He called me this journey anyways. The same can be applied to you. My hope for each of you is to follow Christ in the way He calls you to and know that He will be with you in every step.